Monday, November 8, 2004
02:01 a.m.
From: Iruka
To: Demi-
Dear, dear Pitas. I can't believe it's been over a year. Feels like yesterday that I was struggling with my first HTML. *sigh* The past year went by too quickly! ;_; Still, some good memories are linked to you. Love ya. <3
....but LJ is where all the cool kids are! *kisses and runs off*
Monday, July 19, 2004
03:45 p.m.
Wow. This is nice.
No, I did not love him. It was just this... thingie, but it wasn't love. Really... I didn't care for him. I never even cried because of/for him. What's love when you don't cry? XD I felt nothing in particular when his father was on the verge of death. Etc, etc, etc - it was just a childish thingie which I can't name. But love, it wasn't.
Ally McBeal's last psychiatrist said something interesting once. To see if a man is right for you, try imagining the following two scenes: one, him being the father of your children. Two, him licking whipped cream from your navel.
As I can't imagine either, I don't really know what the hell I was thinking when I wanted to become his "girlfriend". *laughs*
Aww I am HAPPY now~ *purrs* I want to share my happiness with someone. It's not fun if I don't. .__.
And... there are no words to express how glad I am that I didn't waste my first kiss on him. No. Words. <3 The one who gets it should be the kind to feel lucky. Because I'm überpicky, you see. :P
Monday, July 19, 2004
10:59 a.m.
Why do some things that aren't supposed to happen... happen? Nobody even asks you about it, and BAM it's just thrown on you.
*goes to re-read "Anne of the Green Gables" - but this time, with the underlying homoerotic themes*
Saturday, July 10, 2004
02:11 p.m.
Wow. T.a.t.u.'s "Stars" made me shed a tear or two last night, when I first heard it. And I don't know why. Interesting. :D;;
I've been sleeping a lot the last couple of days. Going to bed earlier every day - 11pm last night. It's because I'm a coward. :/ Nothing happens when you're asleep... it's wonderful. (And also, time passes faster, bringing me one step closer to my mysterious happiness.) So instead of worrying and fretting about my practice, my feelings, my legs, my yet not done phone call, my mother and how I am surely a great disappointment to her... I can swim, pet dolphins, laugh, observe sea snakes, talk to Miki, turn back into a little child and play with my old classmates... Which gets me to my old life. See, I never "got over it". I feel like I finished primary school yesterday. And suddenly I'm in my last year of high school – this time next year, I'm enrolling in fucking college. BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M IN PRIMARY SCHOOL. I never got out of that phase of my life. Those eight years were beautiful. We were all so little, and we grew up together...
Anyway. Back to the dreams. As you can't control them, some strange things crawl inside. He did again, last night. (reminds me of the myth of how ghosts are spirits of dead people trapped on Earth because they have some unfinished business) It irritates me terribly. In school he whispered to me to call him when I come home, which made dream!me all excited and nervous. I hate it, I hate it! I don't understand. He slipping into my dreams and everything being as it was a long time ago would logically mean that I still have some fuzzy feelings for him. But I don't. I can't. For Christ's sake, I was able to tell him that I never loved him with a smile! (the scene could have been in a movie, it was so very perfect - something you remember for the rest of your life) It must be true. I mean, I never was attracted to him sexually. So it must be true. You can't love someone and not want to kiss him or have him touch you - it's ridiculous.
Gah. This all annoys the fuck out of me. Because I don't understand anything. Every important thing I'm supposed to understand, I fucking DON'T.
Thursday, July 8, 2004
07:36 p.m.
Oh, men... Just show them some skin and they FALL LIKE BEES when you blow smoke at them. *amused*
Went to school to get my grade-book-thingie. So my official grades for the third year are are:
Croatian 5
English 5
German 5
History 5
Geography 4
Ethics 5
Politics and economy/business? 5
Physical education 5
Mathematics 3
Italian 5
Computers 5
Statistics 3
Accounting 4
Practice 4
Business organisation 5
Cultural-historical heritage 4
So all in all it (barely) makes for 5. Whee. It is so awful that I finished second grade with 4 - if you finish all four with a 5, you don't have to take the huge-including-all-four-years-test in the end. *kicks herself*
Wednesday, July 7, 2004
05:21 p.m.
Oh look, new layout after three months. <3
